Friday, January 26, 2007

music from another ancient future

hildegard von bingen 1108-1179
this CD sent me to another place this morning.
i didn't expect it and certainly didn't ask for it, but suddenly this exquisite music transports me to another level, another mood entirely.

our world is filled with so much ear garbage

it's as if everyone is scrambling to cover every second so that no silence is possible.

because, if there is silence, then we might have to reflect
we might have to pause and evaluate our lives
we might, as Sylvian stated, have to face the discomfort, the disquiet that lies at the center of our being.

it's not the silence that disturbs us, it's the space that it brings-the space, when not filled up, suddenly becomes uncomfortable. on the phone, try being silent or saying less. immediately, the other person, if they are a friend, asks, "what's wrong? how come you are being so quiet?"

that feeling that somehow we don't measure up.

this friend and i talked about the advantage of age is that one readily accepts one's own shortcomings, faults and all the other flotsam and jetsam.

come closer, I got something to tell you.

none of us measure up

and the more we scream and fill the spaces with noise (whatever sort of noise you choose), the further away we get from self acceptance. the worse we feel.

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