Monday, January 15, 2007

The kindness of strangers

Just when I thought there was no more kindness and the spirit of generosity had been extinguished, I received this incredible email today. Gosh, I am so excited!!!!!


You will be surprised to receive this letter from me since you don't know me in person, I am MR. FRANKLYN DUNN, The only son of the late MR. ABORO DUNN Chief Special Assistant to the IVORIAN Rebel Leader, My father was murdered in the fighting dispute between IVORIAN government and the Rebels in IVORY COAST.

(Gosh Gee whiz, Mister. You sure sound important! I am so lucky. So solly to hear about the murder of your father in, where? Ivoria? Ovaria?)

I decided to reach you due to prevailing circumstances the family is facing right now,Before the death of my father unknownly to me he deposited the sum of US$30,000, 000.00(THIRTY MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS] in a private security and finance company in Johanessburg.

(I know that you is a foreigner, mister, but your punctuaction is reel bad. 30 mil? Well, then you're on Easy Street, mister money bags! Gee, Johannesburg-that's the correct way of spelling it, by the way, according to Wikipedia is a long way from the Ivory Coast. But go on, cause I can see the swimming pool in my backyard already!)

General Clement Dusu Chief Rebel Leader ask my father to help him transfer the sum of $US45,000,000,00 the funds to FORIEGN ACCOUNT which was meant for procurement of weapons , my father paid initial deposit but used the opportunity to deposit this amount for the family in case of any unforseen circumstances.
(Not sure that number makes sense, but adding this up, Mr. Dunce, that makes about 80 million by my mathematiks. Yep. Gee Troy, why do you need me?)
. As a Refugees (ASYLUM SEEKERS) I am not allowed to operate any bank account or to be involved in any huge financial transaction and as the senior son I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking a genuine foreign partner where this money could be transferred without any hitch.
(So, Le Revolution was not successful, eh? The Ivorites beat the Ebonites 64-53 in overtime and everyone must now wear elephant tusk jewelry? Ok, I hadn't heard about this rule. It seems to me that if there was a complete overthrow of any government then all assets would be frozen, neh? But I am not banker, play on, playa...)
If you therefore accept to assist us which I know you will, please do get in touch with me through email for more briefing on this business proposal. For your assistance I have two options for you First, you can choose to have a certain percentage of the money Secondly, you can go into partnership with me for the proper profitable investment of the money in your country. whichever option you choose feel free to notify me as I have also mapped out 5% of the total money to defray all the incidental expenses either of us may incur in the process of this transaction.
(Is we saying, like, $400,000 large be mine if we hook up, like financially? All for being a Foreign Partner? I feel very important now, whereas, before this email my life had no meaning.)
If you do not prefer a partnership, I am willing to give you 20% of the total sum while the remaining 75% will be for the family for investment in your country under your supervision. I therefore implore you to please maintain an absolute confidentiality of this matter even if you decide not to help me. This business proposal is absolutely risk free and 100% assurance, genuine and legal. Thanks and best regards. MR FRANKLYN DUNN.
Well, I responded to Mr. Dunn and am eagerly hoping for a reply. Everybody keep their fingers crossed. I might even pass out $100 bills on the street if I end up as rich as Mr. Dung promises.
I told him that my lawyer would be contacting him soon to discuss the details.


primalscreamx said...

I get these almost daily. It's depressing... I can't get my Dad to write, but some guy in Kenya wants to give me a million dollars. How weird is that?

Anonymous said...

I just received the same letter as above, I just ignore them as I received such letters almost everyday. Gee, If I responded to all the letters I received, I am probably one of the millionaires in the world!!!

My advise: just ignore the letter and delete it as you are just wasting your time reading it, plus will make you excited for NOTHING!

Anonymous said...

I've receive the same letter,
Ive ask proof of funds but they don't do anything then a ridiculous contract.