As I stated, I rarely dream any more, but last night I had what can only be described as wishful dreaming. Unlike the last dream, there are no old girlfriends in this one unfortunately.
I dreamed that Father Rich, a man who truly walks the talk, was coming back to my former place of employment for a one and a half year assignment. This caused me to think, "One and half years? Damn! We just might get ahead." I would jump at the chance to work if Rich was there.
Regulars readers of this blog (all two of them) might recall the fiasco of how my place as music minister was cut short by the workings of one Father Dismas. Rather than walk down negative lane again, suffice it to say that his boss found lots of money in an out-of-town account. Money he had taken from the church.
So, with Father Rich back, I could have gone back and maybe, just maybe, we might have a better chance at having a budget that isn't shot to hell even before we begin to spend a nickel. This is indeed wishful dreaming.
The priesthood, from my perspective, seems to be a bit like being in the military. You are given an assignment (a parish) for a maximum (depending on who you talk to) of six to eight years. Now, your priest or pastor might have been the good shepherd of your church for a lot longer than that, but it depends. The Franciscans are a little bit different than your average pastor and they have been a part of my old church's history since the beginning. You do not return to a previous post.
I met the man currently in charge at my old church. After several genuine apologies for his predecessor's bad behavior, I inquired about a job. Nay. Despite glowing recommendations and nary a bad word said about me, there is no job. I have to admit, this stung a bit. He talked about me coming to church, joining it, and then being put into some kind of advisory position. You have to ask yourself what kind of self-esteem would I have to accept this bread crumb. Uh, no thanks. I cannot tell you what was in his head to even suggest this. I may suggest that I bring with me, through no fault of my own, the shadow of deeds done by the former priest. He wants a clean slate, a new administration. There is no democracy in the church. It's what Father wants. And so it is.
Catholics like to live in the world of the volunteer. They still think this way, despite the fact that the world has changed in the forty years since folk groups were run by volunteering moms and dads. This may also be the reason. Why pay for music?
So now, despite our financial distress, there are compensations. I get to sleep in on Sundays, my Saturdays are free, and I get the whole weekend to myself. I even get Christmas eve! No running out the door to rehearsals, endless extra services and the politics of church.
Still, the dream suggest I secretly want to return to the job. Dreams never lie.
Darn that dream.