The following are real and accurate quotes:
"I don't think one should role model oneself after someone whose teeth fall out."
"Whatever I say, disregard the bad parts."
"It must be nice to be the ejaculator."
"Where are we?"
"They need to lock him in his room and throw him some bread crumbs."
"That's the kind of kid that will sneak up on you in the middle of the night and slice your throat open."
'They're not going to super size your ass anything."
"If he didn't work for the church, he'd be in prizon."
"Why are you naked?"
"You have shown me the way of the underwear."
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