Our shadows will remain

I should have been a ragged cephalopod.

The truth is that things have been miserable lately and no one wants to read a downer post written by someone whose heart's not in it anyway.

I have an odd way of dealing with my emotions. They have always gotten the best of me and words, especially spoken ones, feel like trying to cough up bricks. Sometimes I just want to go about my business in silence, speaking only to the people I know really well or I trust. Having a job prevents this sullen and taciturn approach.

Sometimes I get so angry with everything. It sometimes seems like fate likes to take a good piss on me for just the fun of it or some kind of Job testing thing. I'm sure I'm not alone in those thoughts.

In short, kids, it's been a bummer for me, my family and loved ones.

Still, as Gabriel sings, "the warmth flows through me." Somehow I believe. In what, I'm not quite sure. My creative life is very much alive and productive. I think I've been channeling these dark days into music. In fact, after some reflection, it's been the impetus for all the music I've been writing.

Some days are on an even keel. Spring brings forth a sense of hope. I try to appreciate the simple things in life while ignoring the relentless stupidity and inequity around me.

When all is said and certainly done, what shall remain of us?

Push forward. That's it.