I am now fifty-two. That's five decades to you young folks. Half a century plus. There is now no sense in pretending that I am in any way, shape or form, young.
|"Come here, you young bastard!"|
1. Naps are not only nice, but necessary.
2. Ibuprofen is your friend.
3. Bourbon and rum are not your friends.
4. Interest in the opposite sex remains, but if an ice cream truck goes by, you actually get excited.
5. I like cake.
6. If there is any money in reserve, a major appliance will sense this and decide to break down.
7. Your car does not love you. In fact, it secretly resents you and will break down just to show you who's boss.
8. Mismatched clothes are expected.
9. Black socks and boat shoes are ok.
10. Make crankiness your own.
11. Young people are simply annoying.
12. Sometimes, in the middle of a sentence, you may be writing and
13. You're not funny anymore.
14. Everyone else, besides yourself, is an annoying driver.
15. Everyone who disagrees with me is an idiot.