We wear the mask that grins and lies
It hides our face and shades our eyes
Occasionally writers talk about their characters coming to life and begin a dialogue. I was wondering about some characters myself. I don't see faces yet, but I'm sure that will come.
I am probably suppressing some secret desires. I am jealous of others and try to derail other's dreams through reverse psychology. I believe I have a domineering personality.
I have low self-esteem because I find socializing awkward. I have no vices save a darkly personal one that makes me go to great lengths to satisfy it. This comes from low self-esteem.
I have a pleasant public face, acting sweet and innocent, but underneath I am ambitious without a conscience. I have intellectual vanity brought on by a domineering parent and my belief that I am not attractive.
I seek out company with the rich and influential because I want to be counted among them, but since I lack both, I never will be part of their world. Fundamentally, it's about the social hierarchy for me.
At my core, I am hedonistic and a seeker of luxury and comfort. An overinflated sense of self that alternates with a tendency towards depression. A fantasy life acts as a buffer between the real world and how I see myself.
I have no empathy for others because they are inferior to me. I have always sought out companions whom I felt were not my equals because I feel threatened by anyone who might be otherwise. I numb myself because I cannot recognize what caused the vacuum in my personality.
I have religious ideation because I want to believe that I am special. I believe myself to be in the know and am fascinated by controversy and conspiracy ideas and theories. This supports my idea of myself. I can be lazy and have little follow-through on my ideas.